It's Just Not Fair
Hi mom.
My heart is aching today. It hurts so much. Yesterday a mother in my neighborhood was forced to say goodbye to her two year old little girl. I do not know all the details. My understanding at the moment is her tragic passing could have been avoided.
I have been reading her Facebook posts and it is just awful. "...so fucking angry...broken". Reading her words makes me cry. A parent should never have to bury their child. NEVER. It just isn't right, isn't fair. It isn't what is supposed to happen. We, as parents, are supposed to die before our kids. We are supposed to watch them grow up. Supposed to teach them right from wrong, kindness and strength. Teach them how to live their best life. Show them all the love they deserve and more. And now this mother doesn't get to finish. She gets to mourn a baby she carried inside her, loved her daughter more than her own life. This mother has to mourn her child while helping her other children mourn as well. It doesn't make sense.
I know this family. Her oldest kid is C's friend. We've hung out a few times. Honestly, the mother and I are more acquaintances than anything else. But I know she is a wonderful mother. She is raising 4 kids, (well now 3) all by herself. She is a strong woman. Has a full time job. Her kids have a roof over their heads and food in their belly's. This shouldn't have happened. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I can not imagine what she could possibly be going through right now. The thoughts swirling around her head. What she could have done different. What she should have done different. Blaming herself. I know I would have those thoughts as well as many others. There is nothing she could have done. At some point maybe she will blame herself, and I hope she has someone there to tell her it was not her fault.
From what I know she has a strong tribe surrounding her. I hope she is hearing what she needs to hear, feeling so much love from those around her, and holding her other children tight. They will need her too. They will all need each other to lean on. A tragedy like this will forever change all of them.
Sometimes I wish I still prayed out loud. I tend to keep that to myself. I know he can still hear it, even if I don't say it. He knows our thoughts. If I were to pray right now I would ask for their minds to be at peace. They will still have to move on from this. I would pray they would learn how to move forward, obviously never forgetting what they lost. I would also ask that they hold memories of her close to their hearts. Even though she is with God, she is also with them. Walking along side, laughing with them, holding their hands.
As much as I want to go over there and knock I know it will not do any good right now. I have driven by a few times and there are already a ton of cars there. I will go see her soon. Let her know I am here if she needs anything, I will do what I can. Till then I will keep an eye out for her or the kids, while hoping and praying they will get through this very unfortunate time.
Love,
Your daughter
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